Theismann Was Pretty Manly by Jim Williams

I've been AWOL for a few weeks so I'll open with a quote from one of my favorite players and future Hall of Fame inductee, Bert Blyleven: "The problem with being Comeback Player of the Year is it means you have to go somewhere before you can come back."

After losing eight straight and finding themselves at the bottom of the AL East, the Baltimore Orioles fired manager Sam Perlozzo. Bullpen coach Dave Trembley was named interim manager although rumors indicate that the gig may eventually go to Rosie O’Donnell.

Columbus Clippers outfielder Brandon Watson broke a 95-year-old International League record by getting a hit in 43 consecutive games. The Washington Nationals farmhand broke the previous record of 42 games, held by Mets infielder Julio Franco.

Texas owner Tom Hicks apparently wishes that Juan Gonzalez had used the millions that the team paid him in 2002 to buy copious amounts of performance enhancing drugs. "Juan Gonzalez for $24 million after he came off steroids, probably, we just gave that money away," Hicks said in an interview this week. At least he can be proud of current Ranger Sammy Sosa and his 600th career home run. I wonder what his excuse will be for signing Chan Ho Park?

Jim's link of the week: Guess Who's Back Day

Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling had made 348 straight starts with at least one strikeout before leaving Monday's game without recording a single K. Remarkably, the streak started 14 years ago, which is seven years longer than Adam Dunn has been in the majors.

Roger Clemens has made his 2007 debut and the Yankees are now one of the hottest teams in the game. When I think of how badly I want to see the Rocket take to the mound once again, I'm reminded of the episode of Cheers where Sam Malone makes his own baseball comeback:

Norm: Boy oh boy. The thought of Sammy out there, chucking them down. What I wouldn't give to see that.
Cliff: Norm, it's only a $30 train ride.
Norm: Well, that's what I wouldn't give.

After a dugout brawl with teammate Carlos Zambrano, the Cubs traded catcher Michael Barrett to the Padres for fellow catcher Rob Bowen. Most analysts feel that the Cubs got the better part of the deal due to Bowen's height and weight advantage, as well as a reach of two more inches.

Jim's Barry Bonds watch: The home run count now stands at 748. Only 120 more to break the international record.

Brewer's fans excited about the prospect of their team making the playoffs this year, have been signing an online petition asking them to pee their pants if Milwaukee makes the playoffs. So far, nearly 6,000 fans have taken the pledge. When reached for comment, Mets outfielder Moises Alou muttered, "What a waste of perfectly good urine."

Did you know that the Metrodome is not the home of the New York Mets? It's actually the home of the Minnesota Twins. Honestly, you can't make up stuff like this.

The staff of the minor league Brooklyn Cyclones played 13 straight games in 24 hours. The marathon was put together in the name of charity and the group, which included personnel from various departments, faced teams of little leaguers, circus clowns, nine Rickey Hendersons, and even team fans. Many of the players wanted to stop after losing a game against a group of Klingon impersonators. However, they played on after hearing the stirring words of manager Steve Perry who told the players, "Some will win, some will lose. Some were born to sing the blues. Oh, the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on. Don't stop

"That's manly. Journey is manly. Why is Journey not manly? I heard Joe Theismann say on the radio that Journey was his favorite group, and Theismann was pretty manly, wasn't he?"

--White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski,
when asked why he didn't choose
a song that's manlier than "Don't
Stop Believing" by Journey

Previous Seeing Eye Singles
May 7, 2007: A Simpler And More Ordered Place
April 23, 2007: It Keeps The Parents Off The Streets
April 16, 2007: In All These Little Towns
April 9, 2007: Last Two Words of the National Anthem
April 1, 2007: I Try Not To Kid Myself


save me from the clowns : June 22, 2007 10:03 AM

After last night's game, Clemens is 1-2 and the Yankees are losers of three straight. Thankfully they're no longer the hottest team in baseball.

Did you see the interview with Sosa after he hit number 600? His English sure has improved since the congressional hearings.


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