It Keeps The Parents Off The Streets by Jim Williams

Back for more? You'd think you would've learned your lesson by now:

Could this be the end of "aye batter, aye batter, swing batter" and the ever popular "move in, move in, weak batter" psych-out? Youth leagues all over the country have been banning player chatter. A wonderful day for belly-itchers everywhere?

Dreading yet another insufferable lunch with your fellow office drones? Stay behind and get a few swings in over lunch.
*** Jenna Jameson joke deleted by the editor. ***

It's been three weeks already? That can only mean one thing, time to fill out your All-Star Game ballots. Also of interest, Dodger's World Series tickets go on sale next week.

Jim's video of the week: Charlie Manuel vs. Howard Eskin

Did you know that an obscure law in Des Moines, Iowa says that it's illegal to get a base hit while batting in a pressure situation?

Red Sox fans love hand-tossed pizza.

This week, the Braves signed Bobby Cox to a one-year extention which keeps him with the team through 2008. "I'd love to do this until the day that I die. But that wouldn't be normal," Cox said before adding, "Now get the hell off of my lawn!"

Jim's link of the week: The Seven Best Little League Concession Stand Items

High winds have destroyed Durham's famous snorting bull. "It was a sad sight to see when I arrived this morning," Durham Bulls catcher Crash Davis said, "Mother Nature did what some pretty strong ballplayers never could. I hope she doesn't expect her free steak, though."

Jim's Barry Bonds watch: The home run count now stands at 740. Only 260 to go!

Yankee Chase Wright gave up four home runs in a row to the Red Sox Sunday night. Paul Foytack is the only other baseball player to have achieved this glorious distinction.
*** Jenna Jameson joke deleted by the editor. ***

"Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets."

--Yogi Berra

Comments

Swampudlian : April 24, 2007 07:49 AM

I think my favorite part of the Manuel-Eskin encounter is where everybody at the press conference is laughing about it... Everybody except Manuel. Makes it all the more hilarious.

I've heard Eskin's show, by the way, on the legendary WIP, which I listened to for a couple weeks just as an experiment... Eskin's an ass.

Ford Fricks Asterisk : April 24, 2007 12:26 PM

I'd replace Now & Laters with Zappers. I assume they stopped making those things years ago, but they were awesome... and I was never even much of a gum fan.

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I believe that in 2005, we both had greater odds of dying from ovarian cancer than Casey Blake did of getting a hit with two outs and a runner in scoring position... what? Ovarian cancer isn't a funny subject? What's this world coming to?

save me from the clowns : April 25, 2007 01:10 PM

Cancer, no... but I've always found severed limbs to be hilarious. I watched as my cousin lost part of his finger in a fish gutting incident as a kid and we both joke about it now. Tis but a scratch!

I've never heard of Zappers. What's makes them awesome?

smftc

Ford Fricks Asterisk : April 25, 2007 02:38 PM

Zappers were like large bumpy gumballs... I think 6 to a pack... that alternated in orange and grape, and were filled with tangy/sour sugar crystals.

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